Soup
by Archaeologist
Summary: Food is for eating, isn't it? Apparently not when Lance and Merlin get together. Merlin, Lancelot, Gauis, some Gwen


**Title:** Soup  
**Characters:** Lancelot, Merlin, Gaius, Gwen  
**Rating:** G  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Notes:** this was from a challenge I got - Lancelot has to cook a special meal for Gaius. What was it and what happens? From the British tv show, Merlin - which I love to pieces!  
**Summary:** Food is made to be eaten, isn't it?  
**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own the BBC version of Merlin; They and Shine do. I am very respectfully borrowing them with no intent to profit. No credits have changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended.

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Gaius tried not to gag. The young Lancelot shifted one foot to another, hands folded in front of him in a futile attempt at looking nonchalant but the old physician knew better. Lance might be a great warrior but making Enchanted Creature Soup™ was a little beyond his capability.

He had to admit the boy had tried his best.

Earlier in the evening, Merlin had whispered about how Lance looked up to Gaius and wanted to do something that would show how much he appreciated all he'd done for him, helping him when that whole Knighting thing turned out wrong and being a friend when it counted. So when the soup showed up, Gaius couldn't refuse Lance's bright smile or the bowl shoved into his reluctant hands.

Gaius sighed, staring at the soup. As a scientist, he knew it was just meat and vegetables and water, perfectly edible but still, it smelt bad and looked worse. He sighed again, watched the lumpy, off-green liquid churn a bit as he stirred. Then one large eyeball floated to the top and spun lazily around, bobbing against the side of the bowl.

It looked far too alive for comfort.

Shuddering, knowing he needed to get this over with before he lost his nerve, Gaius tried to scoop it up. But the damn thing evaded his spoon and floated there, blinking at him.

Blinking at him? Blinking?

As he jolted backward in surprise, he could hear a soft choke of cut-off laughter. There was the first glimmer of a grin on Lance's face and right behind him, a far-too-innocent Merlin was smirking.

Magic! They were using magic and having a good laugh about it.

Well, two or in this case, three can play at that game.

Mildly, Gaius said, "Ah Merlin, just the person I was looking for. Lancelot has cooked this delicious meal and I think it should be shared." Merlin's smirk disappeared and Lance looked as green as the soup.

Gaius picked up the bowl, swirled it a bit and then smiling wickedly, hurled the contents straight at them both.

He knew what would happen next, Merlin being Merlin. Time stopped. The green muck hung in the air for a moment. Merlin and his quick-silver power had managed to shield both boys both from disaster.

It was all a bit of fun. Merlin would be able to magic it away and they'd all have a good laugh about it and get down to eating a real meal, one that preferably didn't include eyeballs.

But Gaius had forgotten about Lance.

As the older boy stumbled back in surprise, he bumped into Merlin, startling him. In the blink of an eye, the soup sped up again and Lancelot, sharp reflexes from years of fighting, managed to duck just in time.

Merlin was not so lucky. The great wall of green glop hit him head on. He sputtered, disgusting liquid dripping down the side of his face, and glared daggers at a now-laughing Lancelot.

Gaius stifled a snort, both dismayed at the mess and trying not to enjoy the look on Merlin's scowling face too much. Besides, he knew Merlin would not stay angry for long.

Sure enough, the boy's frown smoothed into laughter as he tried and failed to look thunderous, then shrugging, a mischievous grin and the gleam of revenge in his gold eyes, Merlin lifted his hand and muttered a few words.

Carrots and tomatoes and onions and the remnants of unknowable rubbish rose into the air, swirling higher and higher, spinning around the room, looping, twirling, dancing above their heads, then split into two ribbons of stinking trash, flying dragon-tails of garbage. Faster and faster as they dipped and twisted and flowed among torches and candles and drying herbs, gathering speed until suddenly -

Another whisper and the mess halted, hovering right above their heads, bobbing up and down, floating on magic.

Looking up, Gaius knew that it wasn't going to be a pretty sight. Merlin had only to say the word and it would all come crashing down. "Merlin," he grumbled, "I'm not sure this…."

But before he could say anything else, the outer latch jangled, the door starting to creak open. He could hear Gwen in the hallway. "Gaius, I need some…"

There were thuds of falling fruit and half-cooked vegetables, the splat of tomatoes and spill of soup as the rubbish plummeted into them. Gaius could feel cold liquid oozing down his back and there was a smell of badly mixed herbs in the air. Lance didn't appear to be much better off; there was cabbage caught in his hair, orange slime seeping past one ear, and something pulpy splattering his shirt. Even Merlin, grinning like an idiot, was covered in food.

"Gaius?" Gwen peered around the door, looking startled as her eyes took in everything. Then she started to smile as she backed up. "Ummm, I'll come…. ummm back later, shall I?"

Merlin said, "Don't go. We…."

"Are in the middle of a food fight…. ummm, yes, I can see that." Her smile grew wider. "Carry on." And she closed the door behind her. They could hear her giggling in the hallway.

Lance looked at Merlin, Merlin looked at Gaius and Gaius looked at them both.

"You heard what she said." Merlin grinned, pulling out a half-eaten tomato which had somehow got caught in his kerchief, and hefting it from one hand to another.

Gaius didn't like the looks of this. He warned, "Merlin…"

The boy just flashed him a cheeky smile, then, with a laugh, he threw the tomato straight at Lance. "Food fight!"

And the battle was on!

The end.


End file.
